I am always the person who says, "Here.. Let me take that picture for you guys." Translation: If I am behind the camera, I don't have to be in front of it.
I am not what they cal. "A dummy."
So, learning to be okay with a picture of myself was an important challenge.
First step to complete this: You have to actually allow your picture to be taken. Yeah, about that.
I've been putting this one off on purpose. Because when I see pictures of myself, there are rarely nice thoughts going through my head.
Geez my face looks chubby.
Gosh my hair looks bad.
Why does my smile look so weird?
What? Couldn't suck that tummy in a little more there Beth?
Please tell me that's not actually what people see when they look at me.
Those are the thoughts going through my head.
And then the other day on Facebook I read this blog post that someone had linked: http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/
And I remembered that capturing memories is more important than feeling like a supermodel in pictures.
And then I got to see some far away friends unexpectedly. And the normally dreaded question was asked: "Can I take your picture?"
And for the first time in a long time I was less worried about how terrible I would look in the picture and more excited to capture the memory of meeting sweet little Matteo and getting to see his wonderful momma.
And when I look at this picture, I see a memory. Not my face.